Be a badass at finding Joy (Part 2)


Alright, first lesson on becoming a badass down. If not, read the last post to cement that one. 

You now have given your friend, Joy, the true props she deserves. She is one fiery, awesome lady. But she needs to know you trust her.

The next lesson is so simple you won't even believe it. But it takes out so so much suffering so it's important we get through it.


Yep, work for Her.

Joy doesn't just come to you. 

I used to believe that she just came and I will tell you what I mean.

I used to think Joy would just come knocking at my door if "everything worked out." 

Now, I'll break down my faulty thinking here. And maybe you don't think this way. But just bear with me because most humans I meet in my exam room do. 

See, I thought if life was going well, I would have JOY. 

That's right, it was CONDITIONAL on everything working to my expectations.

Now, how often does life always go to your expectations? 

You got it...not often. And then where does that leave you...Empty, no JOY.

UNLESS....You get this one fundamental truth....

Joy is always waiting for you

(remember that from Part 1?)

You just need to work for it.

Now, we will talk about how to work for it in later posts but hear me now, because this seems so obvious and simple but its one of the HARDEST truths to accept.

When we attach JOY to everything "going right," JOY becomes a conditional friend. She only enters if all of the conditions are right (It's like saying I am only going to have my bestie over if my house is completely clean, if I have had time to make a gourmet meal, and I am looking like my fanciest, hippest self! Alright lovelies, when does that happen?)

No, you can't, just can't have conditions. She needs unconditional love. 

Joy used to be who I had over when I was doing well in school, when I got the job I wanted, when I met the right guy, when I looked the way I wanted to...Yep, that's the kind of dysfunctional relationship I had with Joy. It seemed functional at the time but it was quite one-sided.

When you don't see JOY, you CAN work to find her. 
Even if things aren't all going exactly as planned, you can FIND JOY.

Now, this happens through the kind of work that is not as grueling as your day job might be, but it's still work.

It's your meditation, your movement, your connecting to spirit, family, your purpose, your commitment to food that fuels your body instead of draining it, your gardening, your art, your serving others, your serving yourself, and on and on...Are you getting me here? 

But realize that you need to TRY different things to know which work is YOUR WORK. Your gateway to Joy will be different than someone else’s. Just realize that you do have to try different ways to know. Just reading about them and saying, “That sounds weird” or “That’s not for me” is already putting you in a state of passive resistance. And remember I told you, you have to WORK for Joy. She definitely doesn’t come around if she hears you have already nixed an idea before even trying it on. So if dancing naked under a full moon isn't your thing (ok, maybe I picked an extreme strategy there), that's cool. But don't rule everything out before you try it on. No work is wasted. 

Joy is work but it's the kind of work that fuels every cell in your body. It's the kind of work that makes you want to do it over and over. 

This is work that matters. Work we will work on more. But for now, just get this concept down.

Joy is Here for YOU.

Joy is faithful.

But you have to have faith in Joy if you want her to have faith in you, my friend.

Live well,