Transform your critical self: Part 5, why self-compassion will be the reason you can commit to this!

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Alright, my friend, you’ve been working hard! Has this been a legendary mini-masterclass or what?! You’re moving towards being your best, most loving self and I’m super proud! I’m loving the updates, so please keep them coming!

If you’re just joining in, then you need to catch up on a doozy of a July where we worked week by week on transforming our critical mind!

Catch up and come back:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Okay, this last piece is the most important one!

It’s the key to unlock it all.

‘Cause once you understand this, you’ll find it easier to commit to your transformed self. And that’s what you want, to stick with it!

It’s the neuroscience piece, or as I like to call it, the beautiful brain science.

Do you know that the more loving and gentle you are with yourself, the MORE LIKELY you are to stick with any change you’re trying to make?

It’s not willpower, it’s not self-esteem, it’s SELF-COMPASSION!

This one thing you’ve been learning for the last 4 weeks is THE KEY to making change stick!

When researchers study people trying to make changes with food, alcohol, anything…they do less of the thing they are trying to stop if they are gentle with their mistakes.

Think about it, teenagers don’t listen when they’re criticized and shamed. They turn to the exact thing you wanted them to change. And why?

Because the fear centers of the brain that are activated with criticism are the SAME centers that are connected to our survival needs: Eating, drinking, drugs, etc.

And when these centers are activated, our frontal cortex, where we are able to make conscious decisions, are turned off.

YOU CAN’T MAKE GOOD DECISIONS WHEN YOU’RE FEELING BEATEN UP

SO PLEASE DON’T BE THE ONE WHO DOES THIS TO YOURSELF!

And being your own best friend doesn’t mean you’re “letting yourself off the hook.”

Ok, small digression, check out that language…Doesn’t that sound painful? Who’s hanging on a hook? It’s time to get off that hook, my friend, it sounds painful!

Self-compassion means you realize you’re human and you can restart and try all over again.

The more you can recognize you’re human, that you’re trying your best, that you can reset in the next moment, the more you can work from a place of love instead of fear.

Self-compassion will be your new best friend, I promise.

So, my friend this is not the end of our series on transforming your negative, critical voice.

It’s JUST the beginning of the new life you’re going to create.

It’s JUST the beginning of you rewriting your story.

Your thoughts are just your thoughts.
They aren’t the master of you.
And they certainly don’t need to demean you.

Practice self-love, give yourself compassion, every day.

And let’s dive into any questions you’ve had over these last 5 weeks on our Facebook live tomorrow, 9AM PST on my page. I’d love to see you there and hear how this series has worked or not worked for you!

Live well,

Tanmeet

Tanmeet SethiComment