Transform your critical self, transform your life-Part 4
Okay, friend, I’m dying to hear how this is going!
We’ve learned how to use mindfulness, mantra and lovingkindness meditation to change the way we speak to ourselves. (If you’re just joining, make sure to go read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 and then tune back in here!)
Now, for the icing on the top…The physical icing.
That means we’re going to get our bodies involved in this mind process. Trust me, this will amplify all of the work you’re doing! I’ve got two steps for you this week that will really booster the mind medicine you’ve been practicing!
Step #5 Add touch to your self-compassion practice
You’ve been working over the last few weeks on noticing your critical thoughts, sending them love and reframing them. But this one move will really change everything.
When I added touch to my self-compassion practice, I noticed a huge shift…In my mind but also in my neurochemistry.
Let me explain first what I mean.
When I hear that meanest, least forgiving voice, I put my finger or hand over my heart and send my suffering heart some love.
Because if you’re hearing that criticism, you’re in a state of suffering. Sometimes I do this WHILE I’m reframing the voice as we’ve been learning to do. But sometimes, I just do this touch practice until I can breathe slowly enough to think of how to reframe that voice.
You would hug a dear friend who was beating herself up, why not give yourself that kind of love? (In fact, at times I hug myself for this practice but mostly, I use my finger or hand.)
If you’d like a video explanation, you can check out a Facebook live I did on this a while back!
Step #6 Physically step out of your story and into a new one!
I mean it, you can literally get the heck out of there.
Use movement and step to the side to signify to myself that what you are hearing is just that, just a story.
You don’t need to get wrapped up in it. You don’t need to let it be your reality. Not today, not ever.
So let's say you just heard your own thoughts recount what a failure you are. Now, close your eyes (or not, that part is optional), take a deep breath to signal to yourself that you are making some space and step to the side. Yes, step to the side. As if you’re stepping out of your thoughts into new, fresh ones.
You’re now in new space, on fresh ground. Now, reframe, remake those thoughts. This is your chance to start over.
Form ones that serve you better. Speak to yourself about the same situation like a nurturing friend or love would. Speak to yourself like you would to a young child who is learning about themselves and different ways to be in the world. In all of those situations, you allow them to slip up and use that as learning. Why can't you do that for yourself?
I step farther or with more of a high step the more negative or damaging or repetitive the thought is. You can play around with that. Sometimes I plie, ballet style, or stomp to the side. Make your step your own. And most importantly, then make your thoughts your own.
You are the builder of your reality.
You are the creator of your thoughts.
If they aren't serving you, dish them up again. Step out of the way to fresh ground and remake them.
Give yourself nurturing medicine all day and your thoughts will begin to nurture you back.
Join me next week for the last secret sauce of this whole process. The one thing that will help you to really stick to this new way of speaking to yourself!
Live well,
Tanmeet